Hear Me Universe #43. Is a Thinker

Someone who wrestles with what’s grabbling him, open-mindedly examines the big picture, and seeks understanding—yes, a thinker. It takes self-trust and a desire to live this life beautifully. It takes contemplation to make meaning out of this complex, stunning world. It requires active pursuit of understanding to write your own life’s script. As

Yann Martel wrote in “Life of Pi”—

“The world isn't just the way it is. It is how we understand it, no? And in understanding something, we bring something to it, no? Doesn't that make life a story?”

The ability to think about our thinking—metacognition—was written about by Aristotle and many other philosophers since. It’s a unique, human trait, and maybe our most powerful one. I sought partnership with someone who desired to think deeply and seek understanding and meaning.

Hear Me Universe #42. Not a Fighter

This is the only item on my list I wrote in opposites—a characteristic I did not desire. Maybe there was another way to state it, but I truly wanted to ask the universe for this: someone who is NOT a fighter. Someone who isn’t wired to go for the fight, the disagreement, the argument. Someone who IS wired to listen, to ask questions, to understand, and to speak from the heart.

Any time in my life—and there have been some of those times—I’ve shown up ready for a fight, ready to allow my trigger to be tripped so that I can make my point, it’s rarely turned out the way I wanted. My anger got in the way of my message; my emotion took center stage and left the meaning unseen in the wings.

And, haven’t you had that response to an angry message—you can’t even hear it, because it’s covered by rage?

Hear Me Universe #41. Likes to Read

“For one who reads, there is no limit to the number of lives that may be lived, for fiction, biography, and history offer an inexhaustible number of lives in many parts of the world, in all periods of time.” ― Louis L'Amour

I’ll add to Louis L’Amour’s words that, for me, learning from the lives I read has been a way to gain clarity on my own human journey, so I wrote “likes to read” to enjoy a partnership with another soul who learns from others. Reading creates a richness to life that I simply can’t imagine living without.

I was reluctant to love reading early in my life, but in 4th grade, my school librarian handed me a copy of “The Secret Garden,” and my world practically exploded. It took me to the other side of the world and then through a gate into a mysterious and enchanted garden, and showed me Mary, the girl whose curiosity and strength of will changed her own life and the life of others. I was hooked. Books helped me transcend my quiet, rural life on a farm of rolling hills in Central Kentucky, have been a source of my life’s work (I’m formerly an English teacher), and teach me about being human.

Hear Me Universe #40. Likes Music

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” 
― Bob Marley

I grew up in a home where music was valued. My parents made piano lessons a requirement, and my grandmothers sang to me and with me daily. In second grade, I volunteered to sing “Blowin’ in the Wind” in the talent show and, while I could tell that my music teacher wasn’t fond of the selection and made me practice a lot, I felt that song in my heart. So, I knew that I wanted to share life with someone whose soul was moved by music.

Here’s what’s truly awesome: “likes music” shows up again on my love list, at #75. And, I had not noticed that fact, until my husband, Craig, pointed it out. Craig is a musician—a guitarist & singer—and to me, music feels like a refuge for him. For me, I am the solo recipient of evening concerts now in our home, filled with music.

Hear Me Universe #39. Likes Movies

Who DOESN’T like movies? Right? So why did this make the list? It was my way of calling in a partner who says “yes” to pushing the pause button for a couple of hours and going to another place—lost in the characters’ lives and swept into another place & time. A partner who, even if he’d score the film two-thumbs down, enjoyed the cinematography and buttered popcorn and creativity.

Hear Me Universe #38. Respects Me

As in, “sees in me what I see in myself.” I’ve never felt that respect can be commanded, nor do I feel that it is to be earned. I’ve practiced an energy of having a certain presence in life. When I was a classroom teacher, for example, I visualized how I wanted each class to go as I planned lessons with care, and then I set the tone for what the hour would be by standing at the doorway, greeting my students with, “welcome to English class, your best class of the day!” Instead of reading rules and threatening punishments, I started class by saying, “thank you for being here today, because you had the choice...and because you chose to be present, you’re also choosing to place importance on the work we’re doing here today.” I’d talk a little about how they were preparing for a future that is wide open and full of possibility.

It was like I’d cast a magic spell on those teenagers. They sat up a little taller, showed interest in the content, and felt proud of their efforts. And, nearly all of them told me I’d helped them, that I was a good teacher, that they appreciated me. I felt their respect.

This love list of mine is also written to me. I know that to create the experience I desire in this life, I am the key. How I show up in relationship matters. When Craig and I met for our first date, he noted how I asked questions with great interest in him and how I listened intently—and that felt good to him. I felt that same interest reflected back from him.