Hear Me Universe
#1. loves me
Well, duh. Seems pretty fundamental and even feels a little silly on a list of the 100 characteristics of my ideal match. The truth is, a few guys professed their love for me in those post-divorce dating experiences, yet they weren't willing to show up wholly for me.
So, when I wrote #1 "loves me," I meant: LOVES ME ENOUGH TO DECLARE IT, OWN IT, LIVE IT, FEEL IT, SHOW IT, BE IT.
Yeah, that's it: ALL IN.
And, a critical part of making my list was declaring my worth--a topic that I help clients work through in my coaching sessions and online workshops. Believing that I'm worthy of everything I desire on this list & in this life's experience was a critical process for me. I was certainly bruised from my marriage having ended and, yes, I felt unworthy of having a great, new relationship for quite a long time after my divorce.
So, be gentle with yourself when you are in declaring your worth. And, at the same time, DECLARE IT. Even if you don't FEEL wholly worthy right now, act "as if" you are. When we feel unworthy, we feel powerless. When we feel powerless, we shrink. When we shrink, we attract the same energy.
Amy Cuddy, in her Ted Talk "Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are," indicates her research findings and asserts that, "our bodies change our minds and our minds can change our behavior, and our behavior can change our outcomes...," and directs us to, "fake it till you make it." Practice becoming that person who is WORTHY. Because you all. We all are.
I didn't write my list in order of importance, but I'm glad "loves me" is #1.
What's your #1?