My desire for “calm” as a characteristic in the relationship I was attracting reflected what had become important in my life in my post-divorce 40’s, and calm is a steadying force for my life, today. In my experience, approaching even the most inciting situation with calmness creates better results. Over and over again, whether in my years as a teacher, a mother, a sales manager, a relationship coach, my knowing that circumstance is temporary and choosing to breathe deeply, to think slowly, and to exude an energy of confidence in the best outcome has served me so, very well.My soul sister, Havalynn, has a saying: “losing my peace of mind is not an option.” Such wisdom! Being the observer of what’s happening, creating a little distance and a higher vantage point, offers an immediate perspective shift. Energetically stepping out of the moment’s angst and viewing what’s “real” from an outlook of the highest and best good summons magic.Once, when I was pregnant and teaching 8th grade, a student in my class threatened me with, “cutting that baby out of your stomach.” This young man was filled with anger, yet was so timid that when he spoke, his cheeks always flushed. I had sent him into the hallway for some reason, and I calmly walked out to join him a few minutes later, when he spewed out the threat. In that moment, I had a choice. While his words were threatening, I absolutely knew that he had no true intention to hurt me. He was reacting from what he knew to that point in his life, and I had the chance to make a difference.So, we talked. We talked about my asking him to leave the room and how that felt to him. We talked about his angry words and how that felt to me. I explained that when he chose to come to my classroom, he was also choosing to be a participant in our classroom community. I asked what was standing in his way of being a part of the community. He said he didn’t know, but I saw him soften. I offered him support for helping him understand his own anger more, and I involved other professionals in our school. I chose not to escalate his treat but to show him compassion and support.Your point of power is always in the present moment, that moment when you choose a response or action. What if you could be grounded and calm, even in situations that feel stressful? How would that change your experience?