Hear Me Universe #17. Understands Me

Hear Me Universe
#17. understands me

The fullness of what I desired is someone who is willing to hear me, see me, know me, and seek understanding. And, in this human experience, I change, so I wanted someone who is also willing to move through life with curiosity about how I’ve grown, how I’ve become more fully me, how I now think and see the world.

For some, that might feel like a roller coaster ride, but as my husband is fond of saying, “you don’t have to be just one thing.” I want to be dynamic and ever-evolving and, to feel understood for who I am today. Liz Gilbert, novelist and sharer of wisdom, recently wrote, “never let anyone shame you for changing.”

Hear Me Universe #16. Is My Partner

Hear Me Universe
#16. is my partner

I knew I wanted to share my life with an equal, which is what partner means to me—someone equally on this splendid journey in life, living every day in fullness, sharing time and space and experiences. Some refer to a partnership as each person giving “50-50,” but I wanted it to experience a relationship where both parties give a hundred percent.

And, I know that my 100% some days is less than my 100% others, but I desire to be in partnership with another who is also showing up, every day, with all he has to give himself, to our relationship, and to the world. This kind of partnership challenges me to show up in the same way.

Hear Me Universe #15. Makes Breakfast

Hear Me Universe
#15. makes breakfast

I love a mid-morning breakfast on the weekend—the aroma that wafts from the kitchen and the slower pace of the meal. I wanted a partner who enjoys throwing together breakfast from what’s in the fridge, creating and playing and sharing. Being “off duty” in the kitchen while someone else takes over felt like a treat. Cooking for others is an act of love, kindness, and generosity. My love cooking for me and enjoying it—ahhhhh, simply blissful.

Hear Me Universe #14. Makes Coffee for Me

Hear Me Universe
#14. makes coffee for me

Making observations about other relationships helped me generate some of my list—including #14. After dinner at friend’s home one evening, Sue’s husband, Bob, set up the coffee pot for brewing the next morning, explaining that he always makes the coffee and brings Sue a cup to her bedside table.

I wanted that. Yes, I enjoy a hot cup of coffee in the mornings, but it’s more than just coffee.

I loved the joy that Bob displayed in telling me his daily ritual. I loved Sue’s smile and ability to receive. I wanted the feeling of my partner beginning the day in a specific way that made both of us feel great. I wanted to receive graciously and gratefully.

A simple cup of coffee, delivered to my bedside table by my husband, is a tremendously kind act.

Hear Me Universe #13. Is Kind to my Children

Hear Me Universe
#13. is kind to my children

In calling in the relationship I desired, I wrote #13 to acknowledge the simplicity of the relationship. I was asking for someone to show up with kindness toward my children. Really, that’s all they needed. Their father and I adore them and inviting another person in this world to step into their lives, kindness was the fundamental trait.

What’s magical about this energy of creation is in being clear about how I wanted to feel in a new relationship—yet being open to even more—I received more than I asked for. My husband adores my children, supports them by showing up for them in big and small ways, and loves who they are. Kindness, yes, and so much more.

Hear Me Universe #12. Loves His Children, Unconditionally

Hear Me Universe
#12. loves his children unconditionally

In my Online Workshops, I guide clients through a process of shifting their energy about past relationships—from all that was “wrong” and “bad” to all that there is to be GRATEFUL for about ALL of our relationships.

I know. It’s easier to talk about why we ended the relationship and why he’s a jerk or she’s high maintenance. We KNOW what we don’t want in a relationship. We become expert at knowing what we DON’T want by replaying the negative remembrances over and over and over.

Stop it. Yep, stop. It serves no one, especially not you. Keeping those negative energetic strings attached to past loves only keeps your energy in the past story. (If you need help with releasing this negative energy, join one of my workshops and I'll help you.)

#12 on my list came from a place of gratitude for my ex-husband, the father of our amazing children. He loves them, unconditionally. He created a sweet & playful way that he’d remind them of his unconditional love. It went something like this:

Daddy: “Do I love you because you’re smart?”
5-year old Emily: “Nooooooooooo.”
Daddy: “No, but you are smart.”

Daddy: “Do I love you because you’re a great soccer player?”
5-year old Emily: “Nooooooooooo.”
Daddy: “No, but you are a great soccer player.”

Daddy: “Do I love you because you cleaned your room?”
5-year old Emily: “Nooooooooooo.”
Daddy: “No, but thank you for cleaning your room.”

Daddy: “Then, why do I love you?”
5-year old Emily: “Because I’m EMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

My heart leaped every single time I heard this exchange in our home, and I knew that I wanted to be in a relationship with someone whose heart can love others, just because.