I see the connection between #27 & #28 on my love list. Showing up empowered enough to pursue work in the world that is valued and valuable and making smart decisions about financial resources is absolutely connected. Money is just energy, flowing toward what people value. Money earned can flow out just as easily as it flows in, and I desired a partner who would align how money is used with shared goals and aspirations. Part of making smart decisions about money is being disciplined about spending or investing patterns that have proven faulty in the past—honoring yourself and your partner by not repeating undisciplined decisions, withholding judgment at the same time.We learn from experience, and it’s our developed wisdom that supports us in saying, “I am willing to pay attention to what my experiences teach me and use what I now know to serve me.”
As in the definitive men's magazine, with style advice and more. I think “gq” is a sort of urban-dictionary term to describe a guy who cares about how he looks and how he dresses. So, yeah, I declared it: I wanted to attract someone who likes to show up dressed for the occasion—whatever the occasion is. Someone who has “range,” is how my husband describes himself. When we first met, he indicated his comfort in any setting—black tie or ragged jeans. I loved this description.
It may seem that #26 is vain or shallow. It’s not. There’s an energy connected to this that’s greater than the clothes we wear. It’s an energy of putting ourselves in places and situations and opportunities that invite new experiences—experiences that bump up against our upper limits and help us grow.
I value the role we all play in caring for our earth, and one way I feel we can contribute is recycling materials that have further use, once they’re transformed. In writing “recycles” on my love list, I wanted to attract a partner who shared this value; in simplest terms, I wanted someone committed to sorting plastic from paper.
Yet, there’s a metaphor here that feels even more true for me: when there’s something in my emotional possession that no longer serves me, let me recycle it. Let me literally send it away from me to be transformed into something useful and helpful to the world. I desired to share a life with someone who was willing to transform. Just as recycling products allows for regeneration and reuse, recycling emotions that no longer serve us begins a process of renewal.
In my layperson’s understanding of quantum physics, atoms are influenced by each other without being in physical contact with the other. There is an energy that is not seen, yet can be physically detected by the behavior of another atom. So, if I recycle what no longer serves me, I—in essence—recycle what no longer serves others.
Would "recycles" make your list of 100?
I’m not yet a quarter through writing these posts about each of the 100 characteristics on my love list and so many themes have emerged which I hadn’t noticed quite so clearly before. Self-love is a key theme that you’ll see again and again in my love list, and I believe that when we love ourselves and show up every day practicing this self-love, we can offer the world more compassion, love, and kindness.
Food snob was my way of claiming that I desired to attract a partner that valued himself enough to be particular about what food he put in his body. Attracting someone into my life whose enjoyment of fresh, organic, whole foods was important to me as a shared experience, and a path to good health. Sharing my life with someone who is vibrant, energetic, and active is all connected to how we fuel our bodies.
What’s your favorite good-for-you food?