Hear Me Universe #73. Quick to Say, "I'm Sorry"

What if, when you did something that you immediately regretted, you pushed rewind quickly? If you could quickly undo what you said out of frustration? If you were to catch yourself in the middle of being selfish and reverse the momentum?Would it felt better for everyone?Being quick to say, “I’m sorry,” is a sign of an introspective mind, an ability to self-assess, and, really, a metacognitive marvel. We humans possess that skill—to think about our own thinking—and when we exercise it, I believe we tap into our truest wisdom and powerful.In a safe & loving relationship, it should be okay to say, “I’m sorry,” quickly, because in that act of compassion, your partner can extend compassion back, can offer understanding, can ask questions about your emotion, and can keep any defenses from rising up.Try it. Next time you KNOW you’ve acted from frustration or anger or fear or jealousy, say those two words. Watch what happens. Notice how you feel more grounded for having shown vulnerability.

Hear Me Universe #72. Humble

Humble literally means "on the ground," and is from late 18th century Latin meaning, ‘‘soil.’’ To me, humble indicates a grounded quality, someone who is firmly established in who he is and stands in awe of both the profoundness and ephemeral nature of human life. I intended to attract a match to this sense of wonder, admiration and amazement that I feel about the duality our humanness and divinity.I offer this beautiful poem by the Sufi poet, Hafiz, to capture that feel of miracle and reverence that humility embodies.All the HemispheresLeave the familiar for a while.Let your senses and bodies stretch outLike a welcomed seasonOnto the meadow and shores and hills.Open up to the Roof.Make a new watermark on your excitementAnd love.Like a blooming night flower,Bestow your vital fragrance of happinessAnd givingUpon our intimate assembly.Change rooms in your mind for a day.All the hemispheres in existenceLie beside an equatorIn your heart.Greet YourselfIn your thousand other formsAs you mount the hidden tide and travelBack home.All the hemispheres in heavenAre sitting around a fireChattingWhile stitching themselves togetherInto the Great Circle inside ofYou.The stanza, "All the hemisphere in heaven/Are sitting around a fire/Chatting/While stitching themselves together/Into the Great Circle inside of/You," captures the source of humility: All is inside of You, and You are All of the wholeness of heaven. To grasp this significance is a humbling experience. 

Hear Me Universe #71. Keeps Commitments

So many characteristics connect to someone who keeps commitments: thoughtful, mindful, has integrity, plain ol’ organized. When you say, “I will do X,” and then don’t, your subconscious mind will register the gap and you will feel sense of chaos, busyness, or self-doubt. In order to design your reality to be consistent with your thoughts and words, you must act upon those thoughts and words.Oh, yes, I—like you—have absolutely missed commitments. Always unintentionally, you say? Well, no doubt, and yet, that gap still exists between what you committed and what you completed.Yoda from Star Wars, understood this when he commanded Luke Skywalker, "Do or do not. There is no try."How can you create accountability to yourself to keep commitments? Your challenge is to consciously intend to the commitment. Develop your own tools that work—a reminder list? a calendar entry? a work-flow schedule?And, be sure that what you choose to say, “Yes, I will...” to is what you truly WILL do—it’s aligned with your priorities, your values, your goals. Your time is your most valuable commodity. So, when you say, “yes,” make a plan to slay the beast that begins to grow from the moment you feel the pang of the gap between what you said and what action you’ve taken.

Hear Me Universe #70. Embraces Traditions

I love traditions that create joyous memories, so I wrote this item on my love list to ask for a partner who also values traditions and would both keep old traditions and create new ones. In this life, I truly believe that celebrating ANYTHING with friends and family is the very best kind of memory to create.I created a particular tradition that I adore. From the time my kids were little—kindergarten and younger—we’ve taken a family beach vacation. It’s the kind of beach vacation where we rarely wear “real” clothes—only swimsuits—and we play in the sun, surf, and sand. We laugh. We play board games. We cook meals together. We use the same sand castle forms that we’ve had since 1992. We compete in Bocce. After dark, we walk along the beach use flashlights to spy hermit crabs. The kids bring friends. It’s the most blissful experience that I created, and I always want to experience this beautiful time, by the sea, with those I love the most.When Craig and I met, we decided to marry at the beach, during our annual family vacation. Craig loved the beach tradition, so on a Monday morning at 9 AM, my children, their friends, Craig and I walked out to the edge of the surf and said our vows to one another. I hold that memory so very special, a perfect blending of an old, family tradition with the union of our new family member, my husband.Hold tightly to those traditions that serve your highest and greatest good, that you love sharing with others, and that supply you with endless love and lasting memories.

Hear Me Universe #69. Remembers Holidays

If I were writing this list again now, I might reword this one to say, “prepares for holiday celebrations,” or “has enthusiasm for holidays.” My intention was to attract a partner who would  be my partner in planning, preparing for, sharing, and celebrating those special days each year that we call “holidays.” I even desired someone who would think of ideas that I hadn’t considered, innovative ways to celebrate with family and friends. The spirit of celebration and joy! The anticipation and excitement leading up to a holiday! The essence I desired was to experience the sheer delight of festivity with my love and holidays present a perfect context for reveling in the happiness of life.What shared enthusiasm would you desire in a perfect match?

Hear Me Universe #68. Buys Me Meaningful Gifts

You know what it’s like to select the perfect gift for someone? You have to listen to them, understand them, give thoughtful consideration, reject some easy options, and desire to see them open your gift and know that it’s perfect for them.When I wrote “buys me meaningful gifts,” I wanted to attract someone who would tuck away little inspirations from our conversations and take action to buy that thing I named that I'd like to have. Or, when browsing in a store, I wanted to have a partner who would see something and just know it’s right for me, because he had listened carefully.  “Meaningful” doesn’t have to be lavish—though that’s certainly welcomed—but I invited that feeling you have when you open a gift from someone and think, “oh, it’s perfect for me!”