Hear Me Universe #31. Volunteers

A volunteer spirit, really. So much good in this world has been offered by those who give of themselves freely to take part in an enterprise or undertake a task. The rewards of volunteering nearly always outweigh the sacrifice, and it’s this spirit that I called in by writing this requirement on my love list. To me, this spirit speaks to a knowing of your own blessings and gifts and a belief that to give those away freely is of greater good than keeping them to yourself. I’ve given countless volunteer hours to schools, to youth sports, to shelters, to colleges, to charity, to churches—happily and sometimes tirelessly, until I was exhausted. In the periods of time in my life that I have not volunteered with regularity, I’ve felt a contraction of me and my gifts.

Giving of oneself brings gifts back, many times over.

I wrote in a previous post that something I love about me is my desire to be helpful to others, to do good deeds, to make others feel special. I encouraged: “Practice giving. See what comes back to you.”

For all the 100 desires I wrote on my love list, I also know this is true: I wrote them to call in a match to ME, because in calling in a match, I was saying aloud to the universe, “I want to be THIS, too. I want to show up as a match to THIS.”

Hear Me Universe #30. Likes to Run

I wrote my love list in April, 2008, the year I ran two marathons—Phoenix in January and San Francisco in October—so I was devoting a lot of time to running. I had both loved the solitude of running and longed for sharing this experience with a partner. I’d run so many races and witnessed couples participating together in events, and I felt a longing for that experience.

What’s funny is that my own love for running had started to fade when I met my husband in late 2009. I’d had an injury after the San Francisco marathon that put me in a walking boot for a couple of months, forcing me to be in the water for exercise. I had no fondness for swimming at the beginning but absolutely came to love the rhythm of my arms, lap after lap. Once recovered, I just never felt the same obsession about running. Though I continued running for most of the next year, I gave my yoga practice far more attention and, slowly, running faded away.

I’m glad #30 made my list, because it’s an opportunity for me to offer this advice: see you list as the snapshot of YOU. If you live your life from a place of growth, openness to change, & belief that there’s always more excitement right around the bend, you’ll attract exactly that. Think of your love list as broadcasting, “I want this FEELING and I am open to even more.”

Hear Me Universe #29. Likes to Cycle

You may have noticed that the items on my love list flowed onto paper pretty organically, and I teach that approach to writing your own love list. Let themes emerge naturally as you are creating the feeling you desire in the relationship you’re calling in.I wrote #29 to invite the shared feeling of freedom and lightness that I feel when I’m riding my bicycle on open roads, surrounded by the beauty of nature. I am grateful that I live in an area that has wide-open pastures, rolling hillsides, and quaint, little towns to bike through. It’s a thrill for me to feel my muscles propelling me forward in air, cutting through the breeze as it contours my body—there’s no separation from me and nature in those moments. Riding my bicycle delights me, and I desired to attract someone who would enjoy that shared experience.

Hear Me Universe #28. Makes Smart Financial Decisions

I see the connection between #27 & #28 on my love list. Showing up empowered enough to pursue work in the world that is valued and valuable and making smart decisions about financial resources is absolutely connected. Money is just energy, flowing toward what people value. Money earned can flow out just as easily as it flows in, and I desired a partner who would align how money is used with shared goals and aspirations. Part of making smart decisions about money is being disciplined about spending or investing patterns that have proven faulty in the past—honoring yourself and your partner by not repeating undisciplined decisions, withholding judgment at the same time.We learn from experience, and it’s our developed wisdom that supports us in saying, “I am willing to pay attention to what my experiences teach me and use what I now know to serve me.”

Hear Me Universe #27. Likes Money

I wrote “likes money” to really mean, “likes money.” Unapologetically. I agree with the adage, “money doesn’t buy happiness,” but I don’t believe that “money is the root of all evil.” I wanted to attract someone who likes money enough to be committed to make money, because money affords CHOICE—choice in the breadth of what we experience in this life.  For me, knowing that I can create choices is empowering, and it’s that energy of empowerment that underlies #27.  And, in the exchange of money for some object or experience I desire, I give to someone whose idea and creation I chose. It’s a flow from me to you, from you to me.  In claiming “likes money,” I claimed a desire to live in an energy that says, “I choose to make my way in this world fully, pursuing challenges that hold rewards of all kinds, and I choose a life shared with someone who embodies this same spirit.”

Hear Me Universe #26. GQ

As in the definitive men's magazine, with style advice and more. I think “gq” is a sort of urban-dictionary term to describe a guy who cares about how he looks and how he dresses. So, yeah, I declared it: I wanted to attract someone who likes to show up dressed for the occasion—whatever the occasion is. Someone who has “range,” is how my husband describes himself. When we first met, he indicated his comfort in any setting—black tie or ragged jeans. I loved this description.

It may seem that #26 is vain or shallow. It’s not. There’s an energy connected to this that’s greater than the clothes we wear. It’s an energy of putting ourselves in places and situations and opportunities that invite new experiences—experiences that bump up against our upper limits and help us grow.