Hear Me Universe #97. Caresses Me In The Night

I love this love list description. I love that feeling of my partner next to me at night and those magical times that his hand moves to my back and rubs it simply and gently. A small gesture means so much more. It says, “I like it that you’re here,” or, “I want to express my love,” or, “I wish for you a restful sleep.”I wrote my love list in those years that I was sleeping with my cat, Hercules, who made his way to my pillow every night and curled up next to my head. There was something comforting in his presence. After 22 year of sleeping next to someone, I felt calmed by Hercules’ company. It was the rhythm of his breathing that most soothed me.I know some people feel the need for space in the night and separate themselves from their partner on the other side of broad bed. I prefer touch, gentle and loving.

Hear Me Universe #96. Knows What He Wants

It makes sense that, nearing the end of my list of 100 characteristics, I’d describe someone who also had gotten really clear on what he wanted. After all, this entire exercise in list-making was my declaration to the universe of my heart’s desire.When Craig and I met, he was also divorced and had spent several years, too, getting clearer and clearer on what he wanted. In fact, the “headline” he wrote for himself on the online dating site where we first connected was, “I still want it all.” I loved that. His proclamation signaled to me that he hadn’t given up on creating both the life and the relationship of his heart’s desire.Few of us grow up hoping to divorce. That’s not how the stories we are drawn to go. We love the fairy-tale romance, the sweep-me-off-my-feet and live-happily-ever-after stories. And, when our personal story doesn’t match this long-held ideal, it’s easy to believe that we won’t ever have what we really want.What I know is that our hearts never has a desire that’s not possible. Never. Our heart doesn’t play that game. If you have a desire of the heart, hold it tenderly and with a knowing that your desire is on its way. Believe in what’s possible.

Hear Me Universe #95. Has Clear Boundaries

Defining your boundaries means trusting yourself to know what’s best for you. The tricky thing about boundaries is that today’s may look different than tomorrow’s, and it’s having confidence in your own inner guidance that allows your boundaries to be both firm and flexible. Experience teaches, and I wrote this item on my love list with the intention of inviting a partner who was committed to learning about himself. One of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves is a curiosity about who we are and how we desire to move forward to become the next, best version of ourselves.Firmly saying, “today, I know this and today, I am this,” while remaining open to throwing out today’s belief in favor of new, wiser ones that serves you better is a growth mindset and is the art of living fully.Invite yourself to examine your own boundaries. Assess which are serving you and which you’ve outgrown. Be both resolved and adaptable.

Hear Me Universe #94. Plays Hard

“Today is life-the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today. Get interested in something. Shake yourself awake. Develop a hobby. Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you. Live today with gusto.”   –Dale CarnegieI believe that how we show up in one area of life is how we show up in all of life.  What motivates part us, motivates all of us. In yesterday’s Blog, #93, the descriptor was, “works hard.” “Plays hard” is its corollary, based upon my observation that people who work hard also tend to play hard. And the tie that binds working and playing hard is gusto.I wanted to attract a partner who lives with an appetite for LIFE—who delights in all pursuits and pursues that which delights. Playing hard embraces the adventure that this life offers. Playing hard means being willing to experiment beyond your comfort zone.  Playing hard means saying “yes” more than “no.”  Whether it’s a hobby or an athletic pursuit, I was calling in a fellow adventurer.What's your favorite way to "play hard"? How could you challenge yourself to play harder?

Hear Me Universe #93. Works Hard

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” –Mary OliverI’ve begun to confront my own beliefs around hard work in the last few years and, truth is, I am still seeking balance in my own life. When I wrote my love list, I was much more clear on what I meant by hard work: do more than others; push yourself every single day beyond what you think is possible; invest extreme amounts of time in work; begin early and continue late.These beliefs served me well in the way success is normally defined. My corporate career proved lucrative and was both emotionally rewarding and draining. Yet, when I resigned from that career earlier this year, I was exhausted. I had notable adrenal fatigue. Ironically, I had to work at slowing down. I had to make a deliberate effort to choose leisure. My body didn’t know how and my mind rebelled. And, I’m still practicing what inspiration action looks like.This I do know: my “wild and precious life” is still calling me forward to a greater and greater purpose. And, your “wild and precious life” is calling you forward.Will you listen?

Hear Me Universe #92. Finds Ways to Help Others

To find something, we must look for it. I desired to attract a partner who was on the look out for how he could offer a little help to others. It’s kindness, generosity, compassion, and action all rolled into one.Craig and I had been dating for a few weeks before the Christmas holiday season began, which offered a lot of opportunity for us to get to know each other, and that holiday, he jumped right in an helped me wrap gifts and throw an elaborate dinner party, so his kind spirit was already evident.Then, a few months later, when a flight was delayed for a whole day and we were leaving the airport, Craig offered to drive a young man, whose flight was also not departing that day, to his car...in another city...60 miles round trip...so that the young man could still make it to an important job interview on time.I adored his kindness toward this young man.It’s kindnesses little and big that make this world better for everyone. What if, for one day, everyone agreed to be helpful? To let a car in front. To pay forward a cup of coffee. To yield the passing lane to another. To help carry a heavy load.What if?